If we want our bodies to be healthier, we need to get off the salmonella, e-coli, mad cow, assembly-line toxic hell train! God I love that statement. What did I just say?

Those that are goofy enough to believe the outrageous lies and hate spewed about me in the mind-numb media are inconsequential and pathetic. Those that know me are certain of my goodness and connect with me deeply.

If you want to get a sensual thunderbolt then you have got to be cocked, locked and ready to rock, doc. I find that whole milk and lots of Vitamin D help.

Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada

There are hundreds of millions of gun owners in this country, and not one of them will have an accident today. The only misuse of guns comes in environments where there are drugs, alcohol, bad parents, and undisciplined children. Period.

I have obviously failed to galvanize and prod, if not shame enough Americans to be ever vigilant not to let a Chicago communist raised communist educated communist nurtured subhuman mongrel like the ACORN community organizer gangster Barack Hussein Obama to weasel his way into the top office of authority in the United States of America.

At 62, I remain clean and sober and my ponytail remains erect.