It's not lying when you do it to officers!

Quick, someone's coming! Look real!

It doesn't matter if dragons are flying overhead or whatever - a lot of Victoriana is still cut in the frame of fantasy.

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often students, for heaven's sake.

She folded her arms and then shouted, "Right you thieving scunners! How dare you steal Miss Treason's funeral meats!" "Oh, waily, waily, it's the foldin' o' the arms, the foooldin' o' the aaaarmss!" cried Daft Wullie, dropping to the ground and trying to cover himself with leaves. Around him Feegles started to wail and cower and Big Yan began to bang his head on the rear wall of the dairy.

The oldest fan letter I've had is from someone aged eighty-five.

Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor.