Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.

Things just happen. What the hell.

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.

He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.

I thought jet planes were just trucks with more wings and less wheels.