Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.

No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.

So much universe, and so little time.

I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

I’ve seen excitement, and I’ve seen boredom. And boredom was best.

They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.