It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

I would advise budding writers some other kind of job, unless they think they're very, very lucky.

I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.

Making money isn't something to be ashamed of. There's a feeling now that if you have money you must have got it by some kind of shady dealing or being an MP.

Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its own accord, but nobody was perfect.