It must be powerful language if you canna make oout what the heel it’s goin’ on aboot!

Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe? It was far more interesting and you didn't have to muck it out once a week.

The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.

Shoes, men, coffins; never accept the first one you see.

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn't trust "Mothers of Borogravia!" and that was from the government. And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think of it.

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind.