You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together and hope.

I read the best works of some of the best satirists, and indeed best writers from the beginning of the Victorian era to about the 1960s. If you want to be a blacksmith, you go and watch the blacksmith working, and you work out what the blacksmith does.

In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.

Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.

I'd like to walk on the moon (and return).