Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers!" She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: "Socks wi'oot feets?

I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football.

It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.

Money is an unavoidable consequence, but it isn't the reason I write; if it was, I wouldn't have written any of the YA books, because advances in that field are small compared to what I'd got now for an 'adult' DW.

I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me.

When in doubt, choose to live.

It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.