...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.

Shoes, men, coffins; never accept the first one you see.

The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.

If I had been Terry Pratchett the farmer, or Terry Pratchett the dentist, nobody would have paid any attention if I had announced I had Alzheimer's. But there is something fascinating about an author losing the power over words.

All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.

Magrat had used a lot of powder to make her face pale and interesting. It combined with the lavishly applied mascara to give the guard the impression that he was looking at two flies that had crashed into a sugar bowl.