She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.

I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. Somewhere in a book on the history of false teeth there’ll be the making of a novel.

Stand before your god, bow before your king, kneel before your man.

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.

William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir." Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.

Are you a philosopher? Where's your sponge?

Ah," said Mr Pin. "Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens." He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.