I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.

- DON’T WORRY, IT WON’T BE FOREVER. - Good. - IT MAY SEEM LIKE FOREVER.

Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.

The only thing more dangerous then a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with their bedroom window open got channeled into some other interest, with merciless and painstaking efficiency.

Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.

Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations.