They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?

One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet.

You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day.

The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one.

Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.

All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place. Like shooting someone.