They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you'll have a pin.

I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.

It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.

Tragic heroes always moan when the gods take an interest in them, but it's the people the gods ignore who get the really tough deals