They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

It doesn't matter how you live and die, it's how the bards wrote it down.

Given enough coffee I could rule the world

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

Quick, someone's coming! Look real!

I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That's why the French like them.

His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.