I want to be alone and I want people to notice me — both at the same time.

I wear my pants on my upper torso to be abstract and different.

Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them.

Maybe I'm not the gloaming witches smart, but at least I'm not our stupid liffey hamburger mongrels

I hate to sound self absorbed, but I'm just going to cast out this pearl of wisdom, if I could give the whole world cancer and kill them and be the last man on earth it would be a sign that god loves me especially.

I once tried playing baseball but I started crying.

The thing I remember most about America is that it's silly. That can be quite a relief at times.