I want to be alone and I want people to notice me — both at the same time.

I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er

If I weren't in Radiohead I'd be working at a grocery store, I'd be that creepy guy who lives in an efficiency apartment and collects salted, cured meats.

I'd like to run for president. Or Prime Minister. I think I could do a better job.

If we replaced all of our guns with chicken sandwiches it would end all war immediately.

Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey

I wrote a lot of stuff quickly: pages and pages of notes that seemed pretty incoherent at first. Most of it was taken from the radio because -suddenly being a parent- I'd be confronted by the radio giving a news report every hour of the day.