Look at that fat kid, in the audience. You want some pie you little fatty? I strongly dislike fat kids. Security, please remove him, that fat kid, over there, by the pies.

Technology is killing us. We think it's helping us but it's killing us. Don't ask me why because I don't have the time or the attention span to complete that thought. Now let's all hold hands and draw spider monkeys.

15 Step is about how if you have mental illness and try to dance you look very funny. Whenever you see me dancing on stage, I'm imitating the mentally ill.

I lost my virginity to a pumpkin when I was 23. Back then I was convinced I was actually a Vegetable, hell, that's what the song is about.

Alot of my lyrics are about beating my children. 'Hit the bottom and escape' is a cry for help. oh god someone stop me

There's a pervading sense of loneliness I've had since the day I was born. Maybe a lot of other people feel the same way, but I'm not about to run up and down the street asking everybody if they're as lonely as I am. I'd probably get locked up.

The difference between me and Bono is that he's quite happy to go and flatter people to get what he wants and he's very good at it, but I just can't do it. I'd probably end up punching them in the face rather than shaking their hand, so it's best that I stay out of their way. I can't engage with that level of bullshit. Which is a shame, really, and in a way it would help if I could, but I just can't. I admire the fact that Bono can, and can walk away from it smelling of roses.