Sometimes the nicest thing to do with a guitar is just look at it.

Occasionally I'll just pull out a rifle and shoot one of my audience members. So far there have been no complaints filed.

I think escape is sort of like coming to a show with ten thousand other people and responding to that moment. Sharing that moment - that's escape.

I hate to sound self absorbed, but I'm just going to cast out this pearl of wisdom, if I could give the whole world cancer and kill them and be the last man on earth it would be a sign that god loves me especially.

My father slapped my thighs with a variety of meats until I began to cry and sulked in the corner. I later became a musician

I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society.

I'm glad I escaped the clutches of those evil gnomes... I'm talking, of course, about Puerto Ricans.