I hate cars. They are so loud, and ugly, and full of toxic exhaust, like radiohead fans.

Whenever I meet a beauty, I escape or hide in the corner.

The only real difference between me and chocolate pudding is that I am not a black man.

I'm still not certain on the nature of the spork, whether it is a fork and a spoon, or a fork and a knife mixed together, or maybe a fork and a fork on top. Life is full of mysteries yeah man

There was a clown that tried to eat me as a boy, in my nightmares. Years later I found a clown for booking online who resembled him named Patches. Needless to say, Patches is dead now.

At home I've got a very puerile, juvenile sense of humour.

Americans are ugly unwashed clods that live off of government cheese. If I could, I'd take every living American, grind them up into a fine paste and use that paste to feed the dolphins, because they are neglected by the evil Americans.