Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful.

Technology is killing us. We think it's helping us but it's killing us. Don't ask me why because I don't have the time or the attention span to complete that thought. Now let's all hold hands and draw spider monkeys.

Your fantasies are unlikely. But beautiful.

I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.

I tied a bunch of balloons to a beach chair and tried to float up to heaven. *begins to weep* There's no heaven, and birds tried to kill me! *shrivels up*

I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

What's the difference between Thom Yorke and a pizza? Pizza's not as cheesy and delicious as Thom Yorke.