I've tried crowd surfing but the radiating light that surrounds me kept sending me floating into the heavens. Goddamn I'm beautiful

Kid A is about an abortion. *laughs* It's about how our music is an abortion

If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior.

I sometimes have birthday parties for the kids in my neighborhood and then pretend to suggest that I am going to molest them to the parents. It's a hilarious prank even though I am not a paedophile.

Well, my son really loves wildlife. And everytime he draws a polar bear I want to tell him there probably won't any by the time... he's my age. That's kinda hard to deal with.

I had a dream where my face was a hamburger. What the?

The video of 'Paranoid Android' has been censored by MTV. They took all nipples out of the cartoon, but they had no problem with the scene in which a man cuts off his own arms and legs.