It's a fine line between writing something with genuine emotional impact and turning into little idiots feeling sorry for ourselves and playing stadium rock.

My nickname in grade school was salamander because I have a lazy eye

I don't like old friends talking to me like I'm a pop star, cos it makes me feel like I'm becoming two-dimensional.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's a goddamn chicken he doesn't know what the **** he's doing

The video of 'Paranoid Android' has been censored by MTV. They took all nipples out of the cartoon, but they had no problem with the scene in which a man cuts off his own arms and legs.

I'm even taller in person, because photographs shrink you down and steal your soul native american.

I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er