I cannot read a fortune cookie without breaking down and crying. I am sensitive.

Is Thom Yorke there? Oh he is? Well then how the can I be Thom Yorke, talking to you, right here, on the phone.

There are a lot of things I cannot do, such as eat books and read chicken.

I hate to sound self absorbed, but I'm just going to cast out this pearl of wisdom, if I could give the whole world cancer and kill them and be the last man on earth it would be a sign that god loves me especially.

I'm celibate. It's not that I'm a religious or moral person or anything, it's just, if you aren't ****ing Thom Yorke, what's the point? Actually, just kidding, Thom Yorke and I **** all the time. Hehehe. Had you.

When I was four I read the story of horton hears a who and I cried. I wanted to eat that elephant.

Anybody can make 'good' music. I make terrible music, which is what makes it so different, and therefore better.