I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.

It's not racist if I like the race. But I don't like Asian people.

Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey

I may have found the cure for cancer, and I think it might be Thom Yorke Serum.

In America, there seems to be more focus on the idea that it's important to do things differently. In Britain, it's not an issue.

I hate to sound self absorbed, but I'm just going to cast out this pearl of wisdom, if I could give the whole world cancer and kill them and be the last man on earth it would be a sign that god loves me especially.

I wanted to live with the ****ing manta rays, but they banned me from Sea World.