I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.

I'd like to run for president. Or Prime Minister. I think I could do a better job.

My father slapped my thighs with a variety of meats until I began to cry and sulked in the corner. I later became a musician

I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society.

Making music for Radiohead is like going to the bathroom, I'm just going to the bathroom constantly, and millions are watching me go to the bathroom.

15 Step is about how if you have mental illness and try to dance you look very funny. Whenever you see me dancing on stage, I'm imitating the mentally ill.

Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey