One person can't change the world. But Thom Yorke can, because he's two people. Both of them are Thom Yorke.

Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me.

Hunting Bears is a complex song. A bear, as you know is another term for a chubby chaser. The guitar line is actually the sound of a fat man's thighs rubbing together as he approaches another lardy male for a night of sexual deviance.

I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.

We weren't listening to guitar bands, we were thoroughly ashamed of being a guitar band. So we bought loads of keyboards and learned how to use them, and when we got bored we went back to guitars.

My nickname in grade school was salamander because I have a lazy eye

If I weren't in Radiohead I'd be working at a grocery store, I'd be that creepy guy who lives in an efficiency apartment and collects salted, cured meats.