I can be very drunk in a club in Oxford on a Monday night and some guy comes up to you and buys you a drink and says that the last record you made changed his life. That means something.

The people in charge, globally, are maniacs. They are maniacs, and unless we do something about it these people are going to deprive us of a future.

If the media spotlight affects my work or represses what I want to say in the future, then it is bad.

I'm glad I escaped the clutches of those evil gnomes... I'm talking, of course, about Puerto Ricans.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's a goddamn chicken he doesn't know what the **** he's doing

I bought a blimp just so I could get a bunch of wankers excited over nothing, what did you do with your weekend?

It's impossible being me, I radiate a glow that makes others turn and grimace in horror as if staring into the sun.