I tied a bunch of balloons to a beach chair and tried to float up to heaven. *begins to weep* There's no heaven, and birds tried to kill me! *shrivels up*

The society, is, a dishwasher, where all the water, is, dead chipmunk blood. God I'm brilliant.

If I had one wish I'd wish for a million wishes because I am clever.

Ironically my brother died in a car accident shortly after Airbag was recorded. He's not an identical twin so I didn't care.

Trying to find my flaws is like trying to find a black person at one of our concerts

If I could be any famous person, I'd be John Wilkes Booth, because I'd love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face

I have multiple personalities, but, being a fairly uncreative individual, they are all Thom Yorke.