Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you could be good enough to keep in touch now and again.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, "because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon." "Madam, you must be profoundly in error," said Sir Thomas, "No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me."

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.