A musicologist is a man who can read music but cannot hear it.
Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.
The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished as when you started
The British like any kind of music so long as it is loud.
The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.
Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on.