Without question the most unpopular medium of musical sound in the world.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, "because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon." "Madam, you must be profoundly in error," said Sir Thomas, "No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me."

Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

If she is attractive, I can't perform with her; if she is not, then I won't.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.