It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

What can you do with it? It's like a lot of yaks jumping about.

The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished as when you started

The sound of the harpsichord resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting-forks.

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

Composers and musicians have always starved and, as this is a sentimental country, we think the tradition should be continued.

Beethoven's last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man.