The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

Composers and musicians have always starved and, as this is a sentimental country, we think the tradition should be continued.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

The sound of the harpsichord resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting-forks.

A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, "because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon." "Madam, you must be profoundly in error," said Sir Thomas, "No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me."

We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you could be good enough to keep in touch now and again.