My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.