I don't want to be somebody else.

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?

In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

[Television] is a great medium for writers, because there's just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it; it's on TV.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

...nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.