As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. “No, we can’t do that.” “No, that’s not in the budget.” “No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar.” What kind of way is that to live?

I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going there? I feel like we all need to be better than that. That industry needs to die, by all of us being a little bit better than that.

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.