[Television] is a great medium for writers, because there's just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it; it's on TV.

We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.

Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea; A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my "plan" was for taking down the Christmas tree.

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.

If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?