A combustion engine of ambition and disappointment.

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.

When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.

Every day I wrote in my journal: "How am I going to win today?" So that when the guys are talking about water-boarding I'm telling them they haven't even got the right towels.

I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it’ll recede. In fact, I know it will. That’s life on planet earth. And I’m okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there?

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.