You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.

I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going there? I feel like we all need to be better than that. That industry needs to die, by all of us being a little bit better than that.

Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it's good to grow up that way. It builds character.

I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date.

If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue