You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt.

Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.

I definitely think of myself still as a writer first, and feel like - with the lucky exception of this - any acting opportunity I've gotten is usually because I was writing on it. This is like a wonderful vacation. If you've ever sat in a writers' room it's the most disgusting, tortuous place, so it's a treat to be treated like a movie actor.

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.

Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.