I was ten. I had noticed something was weird earlier in the day, but I knew from commercials that one's menstrual period was a blue liquid that you poured like laundry detergent onto maxi pads to test their absorbency. This wasn't blue, so... I ignored it for a few hours.

Just say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.