I was ten. I had noticed something was weird earlier in the day, but I knew from commercials that one's menstrual period was a blue liquid that you poured like laundry detergent onto maxi pads to test their absorbency. This wasn't blue, so... I ignored it for a few hours.

It's hard to get laughs when you're new.

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don't take myself too seriously.

If you are capable people are happy to play with you.

I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?