The first time I went to see a Second City show, I was in awe of everything. I just wanted to touch the same stage that Gilda Radner had walked on. It was sacred ground.

Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable (a two week transatlantic crossing) seem bearable. There's no need to do it now, there are planes. You wouldn't take a vacation where you ride on a stage coach for two months but there's all-you-can-eat shrimp. You wouldn't take a vacation where you had an old-timey appendectomy without anesthesia while steel drums play. You might take a vacation while riding on a camel for two days IF they gave you those little animal towels wearing your sunglasses.

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue

Most of my work is done before we start shooting, preparation work, so my normal day begins when I start writing, it might even be the night before.

30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.

Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.