Every day I wrote in my journal: "How am I going to win today?" So that when the guys are talking about water-boarding I'm telling them they haven't even got the right towels.

You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It only makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.

In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier.

I don't want to be somebody else.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as "human woman".

There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.