Life is improvisation.

I hire people that are good, and aren't crazy. Or assholes. Because that takes up too much time. There are just as many good people who are not crazy.

I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn’t even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy ever did.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.

An acting teacher once told me, 'Greet everything with yes... Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.'

‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.