It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all

I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid.

Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself

I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase