I have a podiatrist appointment at 2.

I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.

I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage