There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake

Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all

I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that

I like Cilantro, but you don't have to.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.

If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.