Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enough or malicious enough to frighten them, or stupid enough to try.

The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet.

I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either