Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.

Poetry is one of the few nasty childhood habits I've managed to grow out of

Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.