American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance

The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet.

I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year

Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot