Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance

There’s nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it’s basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else