And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.

Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.

Comedy is very important. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because if people tune in or go to a nightclub or even watch television, and hear that a lot of other people are laughing at something you thought was not funny, at least it'll force you to reconsider.

My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!

They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.