If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.

I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.

From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or, in other words, In base ten you have eleven, and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the sixty-fours, you're left with two.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.