If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.

I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.

Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.

The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But just in case, we better get a bomb.

Comedy is very important. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because if people tune in or go to a nightclub or even watch television, and hear that a lot of other people are laughing at something you thought was not funny, at least it'll force you to reconsider.