Comedy is very important. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because if people tune in or go to a nightclub or even watch television, and hear that a lot of other people are laughing at something you thought was not funny, at least it'll force you to reconsider.

And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.

They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.

Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.

I find that if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene-or, as they say in New York, sophisticated.

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.