I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.

I never told the truth so i can never tell a lie.

I'll be clickin' by your house about two forty-five, Sidewalk Sundae Strawberry Surprise.

When the weather's rough and it's whiskey in the rain it's best to wrap your savior up in cellophane.

You got to tell me the brave captain Why are the wicked so strong? How do the angels get to sleep When the devil leaves the porch light on?

Bill Hicks - blowtorch, excavator, truthsayer, and brain specialist. He will correct your vision. Others will drive on the road he built.

I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch